I rejoined Weight Watchers yesterday. Finally. For those of you who don’t know, I was a member of Weight Watchers during the summer of 2010. Between the end of May and the beginning of November, I lost 64 pounds. Now, I don’t advocate for losing weight this quickly, but for some reason, it just clicked for me. I worked out six days a week, kept within my daily Points, and used my weekly Points to splurge … which was going out drinking for me. What can I say? I’m a college kid.
After moving in with my boyfriend and starting school again, I found it harder and harder to make my weekly meetings. I stopped being so committed to the plan, and while I have continued to eat much healthier than I used to, I have fallen back into some of old habits, like binge eating. I kept telling myself that I could do it on my own. I got a scale for Christmas last year and vowed to weigh myself weekly and at least maintain my new weight.
As you might have guessed, that didn’t work out so well for me. I did weigh myself every so often, and when I saw a number that was higher than I would have liked, I promised myself that I would get back on track soon. My new, smaller-sized pants started to feel a little tighter, and I promised myself that it was time to make a change. But for some reason, I still couldn’t do it.
I really don’t think I am fat. In fact, compared to how much I weighed before I started Weight Watchers, I am much lighter. But I owe it to myself to finish what I started. I never made it to my ultimate goal. And I worked way too hard to lose the weight to watch it creep back on. When I look in the mirror, I don’t see the figure that I want so badly to have. So, yesterday, I hesitantly dragged myself to Weight Watchers and signed back up.
I’m hoping that shelling out $40 each month motivates me to eat healthy and workout. I’d be lying if I said it was easy. I need to re-train my body to crave healthy food and smaller portions. I just keep reminding myself that it wasn’t easy the first time either. But I lost over 60 pounds. And I felt so much better about myself.
This morning, the counter at work was littered with leftover goodies from the bake sale fundraiser that we held last week. I wanted nothing more than to inhale a few cookies. But I reminded myself of my commitment to myself and pulled out my 0% Chobani yogurt instead. And when I was done working, I spent an hour working out.
How am I feeling right now? Hungry, but strong. I can do this. I am 23 pounds from a weight that Weight Watchers considers a healthy weight for me. Hopefully, then I can become a Lifetime Member, which I always envisioned myself doing the first time around.
But in all honesty, I would like to get to a weight in which I feel happy with my body, and I’m not sure what that number is. Because I can’t remember the last time I was there. But I will continue to tell myself: I can do this.