Control

Today, after teaching two kick ass Jazzercise classes, I found a dent in the back of my car. My brand new 2013 SUV. It’s less than 6 months old. Someone hit my car, and didn’t have the decency to let me know. I’m not sure when it happened or how long it has been there, but this morning was the first I noticed.

Tonight, my future mother-in-law informed me that while she and future father-in-law were checking out the dent, they noticed that my car had been keyed on the passenger side. It’s bad. And again, I don’t know when it happened or how long it’s been there, but I’ve never thought to inspect my car for key marks.

Life is not fair. I know that I shouldn’t be so worked up about a material possession, but I work very hard to pay for that car. It is the first major purchase that I have ever made, and I proud of it and emotionally invested in it.

As I sit, in tears, thinking about it, I have come to a realization. Most things in life are out of my control. I can’t control how other people treat my car. I can’t control the behaviors of my irrational colleagues who make my job unenjoyable to me. I can’t control when my amazing boyfriend will finally take a leap of faith and propose to me. I can’t control the ridiculous cost of the flight to fly across the country to one of my best friend’s weddings this summer.

But one thing that I can control? How I treat my body and myself.

The past month has been filled with a lot of unhealthy binging, and sometimes my eating habits feel so out of control. But I know that I can be in control. I just need the right tools and resources and some self-discipline, accountability, and support.

Yesterday, I attended a Weight Watchers Live Active event to represent Jazzercise. While I was there, I decided to re-join. WW helped me to lose the weight the first time around, and it truly is a program that can work for me in the long-term. For me, weight loss isn’t the hard part. When I set my mind to it, I can lose, lose, lose. My problem is establishing healthy habits that are easy to maintain in the long run. I know that when I do reach my goal weight (I’m not even sure what that is at this point), I need the support and accountability that WW provides to maintain this weight for years to come.

My goal is be a lifetime member by the end of summer. I AM IN CONTROL.

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