Life Is Too Short To Spend It Hating Your Body

tI came across this image on Pinterest today:

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It’s true. So true. But lately, I’ve been struggling a lot with self-loathing. The crazy thing is that I recently lost 35 pounds. I’m smaller than I can remember being since elementary school. I should love my new body, right? But when I look into the mirror, I still see a chunky girl. When I put on my new, smaller clothes, I still see the rolls in the tummy and fat on my thighs.

I think part of it has to do with my eating habits. I am struggling again with making healthy choices when I am eating out or over at friends’ and family’s homes, bingeing when I am home alone, and letting my sweet tooth get the best of me. When I eat crappy, I always gain a few pounds (and subsequently lose them, regain them, lose them …). Who knows if these pounds actually show on my body, but they warp my self-image.

I am also permanently mad at myself. For not finishing what I started. Again. Like I’ve said before, I don’t have a goal weight, more like a goal “feeling.” And I’m not there yet. Lots of people tell me how great I look, and while I appreciate it greatly, I have trouble believing them. Usually because I just maxed on some Doritos. πŸ˜‰ But mostly because I know I can do better.

I’m not one to say that losing weight will solve all of life’s problems. Especially not my own self-image problems. I will always struggle with loving myself and my body. But I know that I would be more proud of myself if I remained determined and accomplished the goal that I’ve had for myself for years now.

I truly believe that small changes add up to bigger ones, and each healthy decision leads to another. For example, tonight, as my boyfriend and I discussed what to pick up for dinner – way too hot to cook … oh wait, I don’t cook anyways πŸ™‚ – he suggested fish fry. Normally, I would jump at the opportunity to eat myself into a mind numbing food coma (breaded cod, potato pancakes or waffle fries, rye bread and butter, coleslaw …), but instead I said “I’m not really feeling that tonight … I’d really like a good salad.” He is really supportive of my weight struggles and takes subtle hints well, so he suggested Panera. A step in the right direction, but there is still room to make not-so-healthy decisions. But I held my head high and ordered the Strawberry Poppyseed Salad with a baguetteΒ an apple. And I will live … I might even enjoy it.

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#loveyourbody

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3 Responses to Life Is Too Short To Spend It Hating Your Body

  1. Lori says:

    Fantastic post – something I certainly struggle with. I’m at one of my all time highs & I “hate” my body just as much as I did when I was 70 lbs lighter.

    GREAT decision on dinner too! My good friend keeps telling me to take it one meal at a time. Even a day is too overwhelming!

    I’ve been avoiding Panera lately…not sure I’m strong enough to say apple instead of baguette! AWESOME decision!

    • Katie says:

      Thanks for the positive feedback! I know it’s easy to say that we should love ourselves, but much harder to actually follow through. I will tell you the apple choice was not easy. I literally said to my boyfriend “with an apple … even though a really want bread … ok, maybe get me bread … no, apple!” πŸ™‚

  2. Pingback: Can you relate?… | Fit n' Healthy Mama

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